Change can be stressful. While a change may be as good as a rest, our brains can be threatened by the uncertainty, and it takes mental energy to shift habits, unlearn old ways and learn new ways.
How much change is too much?
You may have read or heard something like: ‘moving house is more stressful than divorce’. This is usually based on research that asks people to rank the stress of various life events. The best-known is probably the Holmes-Rahe Social Readjustment Rating Scale. Holmes and Rahe (1967) developed a unit score for a list of 43 stressful life events. If you add up the scores of all the events you’ve experienced in the previous year, you can predict how likely you’ll become ill from the stress.
I’ve just done it and I’m over 300, even though I haven’t experienced any of the top stressors! (And note how even supposedly positive events, like holidays, have an associated readjustment score.)
Although the research can be critiqued, the idea that there is a stress load – that stressful life events on their own may be manageable, but when they come together, the cumulative effect can push us over the edge – is an important one. Although there will be some changes we can’t control, as individuals we may have more control than we think on the timing of some of these events. You might choose to avoid or delay changing job if you’ve just had a child, for example.
And of course, this has implications for change events in organisations too. A lot of the changes they impose on their employees are choices (upgrade of IT systems, moving offices, restructuring and downsizing etc) and therefore the timing can be adjusted. So if you’re going through something exceptional like the Covid19 pandemic, which is causing widespread disruption for everybody, you have to stop and think: is now really the right time to insist everyone change their passwords?
It might be something really small that finally pushes people over the edge…
See the next post for more on this idea.
References:
Holmes, T.H. and Rahe, R.H., “The Social Readjustment Rating Scale“, Journal of Psychosomatic Research, Vol 11, Issue 2, August 1967, pp 213-218.
I teach a module on ‘Managing Change’ at a local university. I talk about the issues of dealing with change at the individual, team and organisation level. Over the past few months, the Covid19 pandemic has imposed radical changes on all of us: we’ve had to quickly adapt to new ways of working and living, workloads have massively increased or decreased, and the uncertainty and fear are increasing stress and anxiety levels.
Knowing about change doesn’t necessarily mean I can handle it any better that others, and I’ve certainly had my ups and downs. But the knowledge does allow me to look back and explain what’s happening, both in myself and in the organisation I’m working in, and perhaps be a bit kinder on myself when I realise that these reactions are perfectly normal and human.
And it also gives me a good understanding of what’s helpful and what’s not when it comes to working with and managing people in organisations going through change. I’ve observed people in leadership positions follow best practice and do things really well. I’ve also seen people show a lack of understanding and empathy, leading to really poor behaviour, making the situation even more difficult and stressful for others.
I find myself getting frustrated. I really wish more people knew some of this stuff and could put it into practice! So in the spirit of getting better people managers – those who understand how humans work when going through change – I’m going to write a series of blog posts covering some of the key ideas, research, tools and models that I cover in the module and that might be useful in these times.
Working people are stressed. The modern workplace seems to be a place of long hours, with an ‘always on’ culture and an addiction to busyness, reacting and just ‘doing’ stuff. So it’s more important than ever to take time out to reflect on what you’re doing, in order to take control, make adjustments, learn and improve, re-focus and plan ahead.
Many people think they don’t have enough time in their calendar to stop and reflect. However, investing time and effort in reflecting can be time well spent and can actually save time in the long run. It can:
help you feel a sense of achievement as you remember
and celebrate what you’ve accomplished
help you question your activities and behaviour
and see if you can learn new or better ways to do things
allow you to think longer-term and plan or focus
on how to spend your time best.
help you learn and improve over time
Self-reflection is good, but you need to be disciplined. It’s easy to be pulled back into doing something ‘urgent’ again. Reflecting alone might also keep you stuck in a certain way of thinking.
This is where having a coach can be helpful. Coaching can be seen as reflecting with a
partner – a thought partner. This brings
a number of benefits:
Scheduling in time
My coachees have commented that the logistics alone can be helpful in making progress. Having a coaching session scheduled in the calendar commits you to taking the time and space you need to think.
Accountability
partner
Having a coach means there is someone who will hold you accountable for any actions you decide to take forward. Because you know your coach will ask you about the actions you’ve promised to do, you’ve committed to a deadline and this gives the impetus to move forward, and keeps you on track.
So the discipline of putting time in the diary, and having
someone to hold you accountable, can be helpful in itself.
The power of speaking
your thoughts out loud
In addition, coachees have remarked on how powerful it is
when you speak your thoughts out loud. Somehow,
the thoughts that have been mulling around in your mind suddenly become real
when they are spoken to another person. You
hear yourself saying the words and consider how they sound.
This is where the skills of a coach can really add value. The coach will listen intently and reflect
back the words you’re saying. They may
also reflect what they notice from your emotions, body language, tone etc. You know your coach will not judge you but
rather may ask you questions to deepen your thinking. And your coach won’t offer their own ‘solution’
or rush to give advice.
So however you decide to do it, if you want to make progress, invest in time to reflect.
“The quality of everything we do depends on the quality of the thinking we do first.” Nancy Kline
I was reminded recently of an advertising campaign I saw when I was a student in Edinburgh. As you descended the steps into Waverley station, there was a huge banner that read “TRAINING BEATS COACHING” – a succinct way to persuade you that trains were a better way to get you from A to B than taking the coach.
I’ve been thinking recently about the two elements of my
work – training and coaching – and how they might work best together.
Attending the workshop is just the beginning…
How often have you been on a training course, been really enthusiastic and come back with best of intentions to use your new-found knowledge in your work, only to put away your notes and never look at them again. Or more recently I’ve been on several workshops where I’ve been assured that “you don’t need to take notes; we’ll send you the slides” and after 3 weeks without receiving anything I’ve given up and moved on.
I don’t think I’ve ever been to a training session or
workshop and had someone follow up 3 or 6 months later to find out if/how I was
using the knowledge to improve my performance.
It amazes me that companies invest in sending their people on training courses
and think that’s the end of it. It takes
a great deal of personal discipline, and often the support of other colleagues,
to put that new knowledge into practise and change your way of working.
(One study found that managers who had been on ‘Manager as Coach’ training took on average three days to revert ‘back to normal’ after the training.)
Having someone who will check in with you, support you to
make changes, and hold you accountable for doing something, will help you
maintain motivation and embed the learning.
Of course, ideally the person who checks in with you and
ensures the company’s investment is bearing fruit would be your line
manager. But unfortunately we know that,
at least currently, it rarely happens.
This is where coaching can help. Coaching or mentoring can help employees embed the learning in their work and improve their performance. That’s why coaching is often part of a leadership development programme – because including coaching has been shown to be more effective than just the training alone. Otherwise the learning is soon forgotten.
So if you’ve had some learning (you’ve attended a workshop, enrolled
on a MOOC, read a book etc.) and want to make changes to help your performance
at work, make sure you schedule in review, reflection, and/or coaching or check-ins
with a study buddy, to give yourself the best chance of success.
So no, training doesn’t beat coaching. But perhaps the two in combination is the answer.
“Professional coaching has the power to transform individuals and organizations. The best way to discover this is to experience coaching firsthand.”International Coaching Federation
In honour of International Coaching Week, I will be offering free coaching taster sessions during the week 29th April to 5th May 2019.
If you’ve been wondering what coaching is about and would like to try, get in touch to book your place. One free place per day: first-come, first-served.
Sessions will last between 30 and 60 minutes. Come with an issue in mind that you’d like to talk about.
To make this offer open to as many people as possible, these coaching conversations can be virtual (eg on Skype/Google Hangouts or via telephone). But if you’re in the Canterbury area, it would be great to meet up face-to-face.
Unlock your potential: experience coaching during International Coaching week.
When I talk to people about business or executive coaching, many people seem to expect me to have one of two backgrounds:
The ‘business’ expert – either ex-leaders or ex-HR&OD professionals who’ve turned their attention to executive coaching
The psychologist – those who know about how people tick
And of course, ideally you’d want a mix of both skills – knowledge of both business issues and human behaviour. More recently I’ve met another coach with a similar background to me – in education, in particular EFL teaching – and it struck me how valuable it’s been as a training ground for core coaching skills and behaviours.
Development and Learning
At its heart, performance coaching is about helping people learn and develop new skills and behaviours, and that’s exactly what EFL teaching is about. I taught many one-to-one or small groups sessions and learned this is where I worked best. I didn’t ‘teach’ as such, I would demonstrate or show and give the students the space to practice those skills in a safe space – the classroom.
Listening…Patience…Silence
As an EFL teacher, particularly with lower-levels, you need to be patient, stay silent, and allow the other person plenty of time to gather their thoughts and speak out loud in another language. These are exactly the skills that my coachees value – it gives them the space and time to really think.
I was also living and working in Japan for many years – a culture where they’re far more comfortable with silence than we are!
Non-judgemental
One of my first students was a 72-year old high court judge in Japan – highly experienced, skilled and respected. But in the classroom he was an intermediate English speaker. Other learners were housewives, office workers, students. Whatever their status outside the classroom, in the classroom everyone was treated equally – they were all learning. I learned not to judge people by their language ability. We’ve all got to start somewhere and everyone is capable of improving.
Feedback and Encouragement
In training, I was taught how and when it’s best to give feedback. You don’t correct someone as they’re warming up, for example. But if they’re practising a new structure, you carefully offer feedback, or reflect back their mistake and ask them to self-correct.
And it’s important to give praise and encouragement. It takes a long time to learn a language and it’s easy to get demotivated. People needed to know they were doing well. Supporting and encouraging others to develop and improve comes naturally to me.
Playfulness
My students were mainly adults, and we had fun! They loved the fact that they could discard their professional persona, talk about themselves, use their imagination, roleplay and experiment. They could laugh at their mistakes.
Empathy
When you teach EFL, you tend to work overseas. I started in a new country (Japan) and had to learn the language from scratch. This puts you in the shoes of your students, and you are regularly reminded of what they are going through. The best teachers remember what it’s like not to know something.
Awareness and Openness
When you live in a different culture, it’s a swift lesson that others do things differently. What you thought of as ‘normal’ (eg eating with a fork) is not their ‘normal’ (eating with chopsticks). There are different ways to look at things, do things, think about things and they may be different to yours. There’s no one ‘best’ or ‘right’ way.
So here I am
And yes, I have a business degree and business experience, and I’ve learned about organisational behaviour and psychology too. But I’d say my EFL background gave me the ideal training ground for the core skills I need to coach.
Coaching is gaining in popularity, as more organisations recognise the benefits they can gain from improved employee performance through coaching.
However, it seems to me that there is still a perception that coaching is for ‘higher-ups’. The assumption is that coaching is expensive, both in terms of money and time. So, the argument goes, investment in coaching to help develop people should be aimed at those where the results will have most impact, usually assumed to be those in senior positions.
I think we need to challenge some of those assumptions. Let’s start with cost.
A ‘good’ coach is expensive
I talked to an HR person recently. She gave me a lot of information about how her company worked with external coaches. But without asking me any questions, she assumed that the company could not afford me as a coach for ‘ordinary’ employees. She assumed that she’d have to pay £300 for an hour of coaching. This fee was based on what her company was paying for the executive coaches, but also on other assumptions – that there were no coaches close by, that you’d have to hire someone from London, pay their expenses, bring them down to the company for half a day etc.
It didn’t cross this HR person’s mind that they could invest in a whole course of coaching – say, 6 sessions, plus introductory session and evaluation session – for the same price. Yet they had internal coaches who were doing just that for a similar cost. And at that same company, they’d think nothing of signing off £300 to send someone to a training event or conference, regardless of level. But although the employee might get a few hours of valuable ‘input’, it’s unlikely there’d be any follow-up to see if the investment in training had made any real difference to the employee or company.
It has to be face-to-face
The assumption is that the coach or coachee has to travel to be at a coaching session in person. But this takes time and has an opportunity cost – you could be working instead of travelling. I’ve mentioned before that I do a lot of work online – training and coaching online via telephone and video calls. This has significantly reduced the costs I need to charge to clients. In addition, both parties can choose a comfortable environment for themselves. Don’t get me wrong – coaching in person is the ideal solution for many. But many clients find a session can be just as effective online.
And not only does technology mean you don’t have to travel, it also opens up the range of coaches you have access to, meaning you can find one that suits your needs, rather than having one that’s conveniently close-by.
We have too many employees
Employees won’t need a coach all the time. But it may be appropriate for specific times or challenges in their career, for example when:
you’ve been newly promoted
you are going through a transition or period of
change
you are looking to develop skills and behaviours
to get you to the next level or take you in a new direction
So let’s start challenging this idea that coaches are just for the C-suite and open it up to all.
About half of my work at the moment involves training and coaching in Business English. My initial career was in teaching EFL, so this is something I’m familiar with and trained in, but technology has enabled me to do this now from the comfort of my own home and on a much wider scale.
The focus is on using English for business purposes. Multinational companies are increasingly requiring their employees to work across borders and see that their employees need to communicate on a daily basis with colleagues and customers in other countries. English is usually the common language, so companies are investing in raising the levels of English in their workforce.
These employees are located around the world, and are working in a variety of companies, departments and specialisms. I’ve got learners in sales, HR, IT, engineering, marketing, legal etc. They are also at all levels in the hierarchy: directors, managers, and individual contributors.
The sessions are mainly one-to-one, with some in small groups. The classroom is ‘flipped’ and I’m not teaching the language as such – this means I get to use my facilitating, coaching and mentoring skills more. Sessions often involve discussions and practise around current business topics, such as leadership and management skills, culture, engagement, AI, time management, stress and self-care, and so on, and learners get to discuss business issues while at the same time using and developing their English skills.
This makes for some fascinating conversations and a real insight into the current state of work around the world. For example, one learner is a HR Director for a Chinese company that has been bought by an international company with headquarters in the Netherlands. She now regularly visits the Netherlands and has weekly virtual meetings, in English, with the Senior Management team dotted around the world.
I have another learner in Germany, who not only has to manage his own team in Germany, but also has to coordinate a team in Pakistan and Taiwan. We talk a lot about cross-cultural management! It’s also interesting to see and contrast the Chinese employee in an American company (P&G) based in America, and the Chinese employee in an American firm (IBM) based in China. I talked recently to an employee in the legal department of a Spanish company, which is in the process of setting up another company with colleagues in Ireland and the Netherlands, and the frustrations that was bringing her.
I’ve talked with a multitude of employees, some going through layoffs and cutbacks, one going into her first management role, another who’s just decided to quit, another who’s got a side hustle and is about to go solo. I’ve had learners taking sessions while in the car, in hotels on wi-fi, on mobile phones while walking, and today from an old folks’ home – basically anywhere and everywhere.
The world is shrinking. Technology allows us to talk with people globally at little cost. The only difficulty is the time-zone difference. And despite the conversations about cultural differences, it’s surprising how similar and human the employee experiences are.
As someone who has relatively recently trained in coaching
and mentoring, I find myself launched into a new, unfamiliar and occasionally
confusing coaching ‘world’ – a relatively young field itself, which is
professionalising, growing and expanding.
I see there are masses of opportunities to learn and I’m keen to develop
my skills further.
One thing that’s on my radar for development is to find opportunities to observe or listen to demo coaching sessions. I was incredibly lucky to catch the first demo sessions from WBECS last year – these were both inspiring and reassuring. (You can watch Marcia Reynolds’ two live coaching demos and I wholeheartedly recommend them.)
What struck me immediately, though, was disappointment – “this isn’t coaching!” After learning some background about the coachee, it’s surprising how quickly we get to the ‘coach’ giving advice. For example, she asks a question about how the coachee’s clients are finding him. When he struggles to answer, rather than allow him to perhaps realise that this is something that it would be useful for him to know, she tells him to “find out”.
She allows the coachee to talk for a while, then adds ‘her thoughts’, which include resources he should look up and things he should do. She talks through the pros and cons of doing things, rather than allowing the coachee to voice these himself. Interestingly, the coachee responds “I think it’s aligned with what I’ve been thinking” and “I feel a little bit of validation hearing you say that.” …which makes me wonder why she took this ‘telling’ approach rather than first asking him “What are your thoughts?” or “What have you been doing about this so far?”
On occasions, she actually dictates to the coachee what he must do, based on what she (the coach) has said. She dictates the goals, the timelines and gives him ‘homework’ based on what she’s decided. She doesn’t ask the coachee what his elevator pitch is or could be; she dictates what she thinks his elevator pitch should be.
Now I’m not saying this is wrong. In fact, right up
front the ‘coachee’ says:
“I’m really looking for any advice and expertise and making
sure that I’m somewhat on the right path…somebody like you who’s been down the
road that I’ve- I’m- where I’m currently at, I feel like you can maybe help me
navigate or be a little bit more strategic in the things that I’m doing.”
And the coachee seems happy and says at the end “There’s a huge amount of value in talking to people who’ve been where you’re trying to go.”
And that’s true…
But is this ‘coaching’?
But is this coaching? Is this even mentoring? This is more like ‘coach as expert’ – telling
someone else what they should do based on what the ‘coach’ has achieved
previously.
“Coaching is unlocking people’s potential to maximize their own performance. It is helping them to learn rather than teaching them.”
This view means that the coach helps the coachee uncover their own answers. They don’t tell. Furthermore, John Whitmore goes on to say:
“coaching requires expertise in coaching, but not in the subject at hand…Good coaching, and good mentoring for that matter, can and should take a performer beyond the limitations of the coach or mentor’s own knowledge.”
So the coach doesn’t have to be an expert in the coachee’s
field. In fact, personally I have found prior
experience can actually be a hindrance in some cases, as it can limit the coach’s
own thinking.
I’m not saying that there aren’t times where it’s right for the coach to share their thoughts and experience. But there are a lot of people calling themselves ‘coach’ that aren’t ‘coaches’ by this definition. They’re teachers, consultants, advisers, mentors. Just think of ‘speech coach’, ‘singing coach’, ‘football coach’ and so on, who are basically teaching or telling. (And I’m called a ‘coach’ when I give training in Business English, too.) The fact that Whitney Johnson is using terms like ‘student’ and ‘homework assignments’, tell me that this is the territory we’re in.
I know as an adult I’m fed up of being told to do things. In fact, I’m likely to resistdoing them exactly because I’ve been told to do them by someone else. Coaching, in John Whitmore’s eyes, is effective, because the coachee has thought through the issues and chosen the path they want to follow themselves. The coach facilitates my thinking; they don’t make decisions for me.
And the really interesting thing for me with this podcast, is the fact that this wasn’t a one-off session. They followed up a few months later so we got to see progress. You can judge for yourself whether the coachee had really done the ‘homework’ that had been given to him.
So what do you think when you hear the term ‘coach’? It seems the term means different things in different contexts. So the message for me has been that if you’re looking for a ‘coach’, have a conversation up-front about what you expect ‘coaching’ to be. Are you actually looking for a mentor or adviser? Someone who’s been there, done it and had success? Someone who has the skills you want to get? Or do you want a thought partner? Someone to support you to discover your own solutions and success? Each has its benefits. Just make sure both you and your ‘coach’ are both are on the same page.
“Professional coaching has the power to transform individuals and organizations. The best way to discover this is to experience coaching firsthand.”
If you’ve never tried coaching, now’s your chance.
In honour of International Coaching Week, I will be offering a free coaching taster session each day during the week, 7 to 13th May 2018.
If you’ve been wondering what coaching is about and would like to try, get in touch to book your place. One free place per day: first-come, first-served.
Sessions will last between 30 and 60 minutes. Come with an issue in mind that you’d like to talk about.
To make this offer open to as many people as possible, these coaching conversations can be virtual (eg on Skype/Google Hangouts or via telephone). But if you’re in the Canterbury area, it would be great to meet up face-to-face.
Unlock your potential: experience coaching during International Coaching week.
