As someone who has relatively recently trained in coaching and mentoring, I find myself launched into a new, unfamiliar and occasionally confusing coaching ‘world’ – a relatively young field itself, which is professionalising, growing and expanding. I see there are masses of opportunities to learn and I’m keen to develop my skills further.
One thing that’s on my radar for development is to find opportunities to observe or listen to demo coaching sessions. I was incredibly lucky to catch the first demo sessions from WBECS last year – these were both inspiring and reassuring. (You can watch Marcia Reynolds’ two live coaching demos and I wholeheartedly recommend them.)
So I was excited to find a new podcast today with a ‘live coaching demo’ from Whitney Johnson. I’ve enjoyed listening to her speak about the ‘S’ curve on other podcasts, so I had high hopes.
A different view of ‘coaching’
What struck me immediately, though, was disappointment – “this isn’t coaching!” After learning some background about the coachee, it’s surprising how quickly we get to the ‘coach’ giving advice. For example, she asks a question about how the coachee’s clients are finding him. When he struggles to answer, rather than allow him to perhaps realise that this is something that it would be useful for him to know, she tells him to “find out”.
She allows the coachee to talk for a while, then adds ‘her thoughts’, which include resources he should look up and things he should do. She talks through the pros and cons of doing things, rather than allowing the coachee to voice these himself. Interestingly, the coachee responds “I think it’s aligned with what I’ve been thinking” and “I feel a little bit of validation hearing you say that.” …which makes me wonder why she took this ‘telling’ approach rather than first asking him “What are your thoughts?” or “What have you been doing about this so far?”
On occasions, she actually dictates to the coachee what he must do, based on what she (the coach) has said. She dictates the goals, the timelines and gives him ‘homework’ based on what she’s decided. She doesn’t ask the coachee what his elevator pitch is or could be; she dictates what she thinks his elevator pitch should be.
Now I’m not saying this is wrong. In fact, right up front the ‘coachee’ says:
“I’m really looking for any advice and expertise and making sure that I’m somewhat on the right path…somebody like you who’s been down the road that I’ve- I’m- where I’m currently at, I feel like you can maybe help me navigate or be a little bit more strategic in the things that I’m doing.”
And the coachee seems happy and says at the end “There’s a huge amount of value in talking to people who’ve been where you’re trying to go.”
And that’s true…
But is this ‘coaching’?
But is this coaching? Is this even mentoring? This is more like ‘coach as expert’ – telling someone else what they should do based on what the ‘coach’ has achieved previously.
One of the core textbooks for new coaches is ‘Coaching for Performance’ by John Whitmore, who describes coaching like this:
“Coaching is unlocking people’s potential to maximize their own performance. It is helping them to learn rather than teaching them.”
This view means that the coach helps the coachee uncover their own answers. They don’t tell. Furthermore, John Whitmore goes on to say:
“coaching requires expertise in coaching, but not in the subject at hand…Good coaching, and good mentoring for that matter, can and should take a performer beyond the limitations of the coach or mentor’s own knowledge.”
So the coach doesn’t have to be an expert in the coachee’s field. In fact, personally I have found prior experience can actually be a hindrance in some cases, as it can limit the coach’s own thinking.
I’m not saying that there aren’t times where it’s right for the coach to share their thoughts and experience. But there are a lot of people calling themselves ‘coach’ that aren’t ‘coaches’ by this definition. They’re teachers, consultants, advisers, mentors. Just think of ‘speech coach’, ‘singing coach’, ‘football coach’ and so on, who are basically teaching or telling. (And I’m called a ‘coach’ when I give training in Business English, too.) The fact that Whitney Johnson is using terms like ‘student’ and ‘homework assignments’, tell me that this is the territory we’re in.
I know as an adult I’m fed up of being told to do things. In fact, I’m likely to resistdoing them exactly because I’ve been told to do them by someone else. Coaching, in John Whitmore’s eyes, is effective, because the coachee has thought through the issues and chosen the path they want to follow themselves. The coach facilitates my thinking; they don’t make decisions for me.
And the really interesting thing for me with this podcast, is the fact that this wasn’t a one-off session. They followed up a few months later so we got to see progress. You can judge for yourself whether the coachee had really done the ‘homework’ that had been given to him.
So what do you think when you hear the term ‘coach’? It seems the term means different things in different contexts. So the message for me has been that if you’re looking for a ‘coach’, have a conversation up-front about what you expect ‘coaching’ to be. Are you actually looking for a mentor or adviser? Someone who’s been there, done it and had success? Someone who has the skills you want to get? Or do you want a thought partner? Someone to support you to discover your own solutions and success? Each has its benefits. Just make sure both you and your ‘coach’ are both are on the same page.